Sources: The Charisma Myth and Never Split the Difference
Why to Negotiate
- You will almost always get more.
- If you do it nicely, they’ll still let you take the original offer.
- Good practice for learning negotiation, a critical life skill.
How to Negotiate
Set a clear goal
- Do your homework:
- What are they paying other interns?
- What are comparable companies paying their interns?
- What are they paying their full times (total comp)?
- What are the best case scenarios?
- Not just about hourly salary, think about relocation/starting bonuses
- What non-cash things can they offer me?
- Paid vacation days
- Pick the team you work on
- Paid/subsidized housing
- Flexible hours/working from home
- Anything else you can think of!
Summarize the situation
- Describe the situation so that they respond with “that’s right.”
- If they gave you an offer, they already want you!
- Seller’s market: good CS talent is hard to find
- But: they want to get the best deal for their company, that’s their entire job.
Prepare labels and accusations
- List any accusations that they might make in response to your asks
- List labels with respond with:
- “It seems like _ is valuable to you.”
- “It seems like you don’t like _.”
- “It seems like you value _.”
- “It seems like _ makes it easier.”
- “It seems like you’re reluctant to _.
Prepare calibrated questions
- Want to figure out what is important to them
- “What are we trying to accomplish?”
- “How is that worthwhile?”
- “What’s the core issue here?”
- “How does that affect things?”
- “What’s the biggest challenge you face?”
- “How does that fit into what the objective is?”
- Be ready to respond to these with labels as well
Talk on the phone, not on email
On talking: aim to speak like a late night fm dj
- Speak slowly
- Drop intonation at end of sentences
- Breath from your belly
Show appreciation for what they’ve given you already
- Minimal encouragers
- Emotional labeling
Phrases to use:
- “I’m sorry…”
- “This is going to sound harsh…”
- “What would you like me to do?”
- “How am I supposed to do that?”
- “Where did that number come from?”